Best Destinations

Singapore - Number One Destination in 2015?

With its unique style of cuisine and culture, Lonely Planet selected the Southeast Asia destination as it offers an escape from the typical urban landscape, as well as providing ample opportunities to explore the island. In addition, Singapore will celebrate fifty years of independence next year, so we can expect some grand celebrations.

The list was compiled through criteria such as whether there was a special event next year, or because the writers believed that the destination will soon become a big hit. Smaller countries were given a fair opportunity as recent developments were considered, meaning that the more well-known travel destinations would not be able to dominate.

Lonely Planet's best countries to visit in 2015

Last year’s winner was Brazil as it hosted the World Cup and will be the next country to host the 2016 Olympic Games. Despite this accolade the country did not appear on the list this time around.

Following this year's top choice, Namibia has a packed schedule of local and national festivals throughout the year, and Lithuania has transformed itself since it embraced democracy following the fall of the Soviet Union.

Ireland places fifth in the list, with contributor Tom Hall describing it as ‘stunningly scenic,’ and noted that it managed to blend its traditional customs with a cosmopolitan atmosphere, and describing how the ‘contemporary Irish are just as friendly and welcoming as their forebears were known to be.’

The Top Ten Are:

1. Singapore
2. Namibia
3. Lithuania
4. Nicaragua
5. Ireland
6. Republic Of Congo
7. Serbia
8. The Philippines
9. St Lucia
10. Morocco

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Pilot v Engineer

I think we're not going to beat these, so we'll end our brief sojourn into humour with Quantas...well, may be one more next time if I can find it....

Apparently, after every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet', which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.  The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' Pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

Pilots: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. 

Engineers: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Pilots: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. 

Engineers: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

Pilots: Something loose in cockpit. 

Engineers: Something tightened in cockpit.

Pilots: Dead bugs on windshield. 

Engineers: Live bugs on back-order.

Pilots: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. 

Engineers: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Pilots: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. 

Engineers: Evidence removed.

Pilots: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. 

Engineers: That's what they're for.

Pilots: Suspected crack in windshield. 

Engineers: Suspect you're right.

Pilots: Number 3 engine missing. 

Engineers: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Pilots: Aircraft handles funny. 

Engineers: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

Pilots: Target radar hums 

Engineers: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

Pilots: Mouse in cockpit. 

Engineers: Cat installed.

And perhaps, the best Qantas joke...

Qantas Pilot: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. 

Engineers: Took hammer away from midget

Cruise Complaint Silliness

So, in the spirit of last week's article, I thought we would research some further amusing anecdotal tales of complaining holidaymakers - this time the ocean faring variety. Obviously, there's only so far we can go with this - but let's enjoy it while it lasts.

Here are some examples of Cruising Silliness

The most unusual was from a lady on a Mediterranean cruise who said the sea was too loud and claimed it prevented her from having a decent night's sleep during her holiday. She suggested the cabins be "better sound-proofed against the sounds of the sea."

bonvoyage.co.uk revealed the hilarious complaints, which included a man who voyaged on a summer cruise around Alaska complaining about the weather not being as warm as he expected. He said he expected to be able to "swim in the swimming pool each day" and "get an impressive tan".

The man stated that "all cruises are meant to be hot", and so sought compensation for having to buy warmer clothing as he "had only packed minimal clothing for the expected hot weather."

A woman on a Celebrity Cruises ship asked bonvoyage.co.uk for a full refund in June last year because she didn't see any celebrities on board. The woman said the company was guilty of "false advertising" due to the lack of stars.

In another complaint, a woman on a cruise departing from Southampton said that she had to re-schedule her whole holiday as she was not aware of the fact that she was supposed to take her passport with her on the cruise. She apparently thought she only needed her passport when going on a fly-cruise and blamed the cruise company for not texting her the day before to remind her to take her passport.

A woman on a Hawaiian cruise told the customer service team she had heard Gary Barlow was once on the same cruise she had ventured on but failed to see him on the ship this time. She demanded an explanation as to why he was not on the same cruise again this time.

Steph Curtin, Cruise Development Manager of bonvoyage.co.uk, said: "As an online cruising agency, we always try to provide the best customer service possible for our customers; whether it's regarding their comfort on-board, the information they get before getting on board or all the services and entertainment available on the ship."

She added: "The vast majority of feedback we get from our holidaymakers is hugely positive, usually telling us what a great time they had, but from time to time we come across a few quirky complaints that we can do little to help. Whilst we always make sure we go back to every complaint, I'm afraid we can't be held responsible for the sea being too loud or the lack of celebrities on board; as much as we wish we could put Gary Barlow on every cruise!"

More next week!

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Silliness

Sadly the Summer holidays are but a distant memory. Now is a time for reflection on those warm evenings on the beach, unforgettable meals in hidden gems off the beaten track and unending hours of  lazing around the pool…Or you could just complain about the whole thing like these people have.

These are actual complaints received from dissatisfied customers by Thomas Cook Vacations (based on a Thomas Cook/ABTA survey.)

 Beware!!! These people live among us and can vote!

1. “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”

2. “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time — this should be banned.”

3. “On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food.”

4. “We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price.”

5. “The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.”

6. “We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow.”

7. “They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax.”

8. “No one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared.”

9. “Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers.”

10. “We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish.”

11. “The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun.”

12. “It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair.”

13. “I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends’ three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller.”

14. “The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the resort’. We’re trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service.”

15. “There were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners.”

16. “We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning.”

17. “It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”

18. “I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes.”

19. “My fiance and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”